Okay, I know what you're thinking. Confident hacks, really? Look, the word "hacks" has been so overused lately that it'spractically meaningless. The problem is that people think that hacks are things that are gonna give them instant results without them having to do any work at all. These confidence
hacks are different because they do require some effort on your part. But each one is a highly targeted action that you can take to get an almost immediate boost to your mood and your self-esteem. Without any further ado, here are seven ways you can legitimately increase your confidence when you need it most. Real quick, I want to give a big thanks to Scentbird for sponsoring this video and for supporting the channel. Number one, get out of your head and into your body. So one of the biggest enemies of confidence on a daily basis is your own mind--yes your own mind. So some people speculate that the human mind has up to 70 thousand thoughts per day. And because humans have evolved to be on constant alert for danger and threats to their survival, many of those thoughts are negative. The constant "what if?" What if I'm not good enough? What if I fail? Sometimes we get so caught up in our negative thoughts that we go down a rabbit hole. And if you've ever been stuck in a negative headspace, you know that trying to think your way out of that is nearly impossible. And that's why the quickest way to actually change your mood and your confidence is actually by changing your physiology--by moving your body. Not only does exercise distract you from your negative thoughts, but it's actually been proven to physiologically increase your sense of well-being by providing feel-good endorphins that help reduce anxiety and boost your confidence. Even if you can't exercise, deliberately adjusting your posture can have an almost immediate impact on your mood. According to Harvard professor Amy Cuddy, just doing two minutes of these simple "power poses" like standing with your
hands on your hips is enough to decrease cortisol (a stress hormone) and an increased testosterone. And the combination of that can make you feel more relaxed and more confident. Number two, harness the power of scent. Now, scent has a very powerful effect on us. Have you ever noticed how a single smell can transport you back to a very specific memory in a way that no other sense can really? And it shouldn't be a surprise that smelling better can increase our sense of feeling more put-together and well-groomed. But a 2009 study actually showed that wearing fragrances can increase how confident we appear to other people. During the double-blind study, women were asked to watch videotapes of men who were either wearing cologne or not wearing cologne. And surprisingly, the women were more attracted to the men who were wearing cologne, even though they couldn't smell them. So in a nutshell, when you smell good, you feel more confident, so you act more confident. And people notice. And that's why wearing cologne can often be that x-factor in our grooming routine that can take us from having a ho-hum day to feeling like we're on top of the world. I haven't worn a lot of cologne in the past and so I'm just starting to kind of dip my toe into the world of fragrance. And about a year and a half ago, I discovered a company called Scentbird,which is essentially a subscriptionservice for fragrances. And there's a lot of things that are great about this for people who either don't wear a lot of cologne regularly or who are just kind of starting out with fragrance. First, the fragrances come in a small spray size, so you're not stuck with a big bottle of something that you absolutely hate, and that kind of allows you to "date" different fragrances without having to commit to one so soon. Secondly, the experience of shopping for a fragrance with Scentbird is much more comfortable, especially if you're like me and you don't like the department store perfume counter atmosphere, with bright lights and the cacophony of smells. I mean, sometimes it's really hard to actually know what you're smelling when you're there. It's totally overwhelming.So Scentbird partners with designer brands--everything from like Tom Ford to Gucci to Prada to Guerlain. And so theirselection is pretty broad, and they
actually have something like 450 different fragrances that you can choosefrom on the website. For $14.95 a monththey don't just send you a tiny sample, they actually send you a full of rollerball size that lasts 30 days, and would normally probably cost you twice what this is for that same size. In the past, I was almost afraid to wear colognebecause I was worried about maybe putting on too much, but as I've gotten more experience with it I have a bettersense of how much to use. And it's nice
because it really is that kind of final little zhuzh to your grooming routine, and you get that sort of crisp feeling of confidence that you get when you walk out of the barber with a nice clean haircut. If you're interested in checking out Scentbird, they've given us an offer code that you can use. Just enter offer code TDM25 and you can actually get 25% off your first cologne or perfume. Number 3, do a small act of kindness for someone else. So another great way to boost your confidence is to just stop thinking about yourself and your own problems for just a second and focus on someone else for a change. We get so caught up in our own drama and baggage that sometimes we forget a very simple truth: we have the ability to make other people happy. You'd be surprised, but knowing that you've actually brightened someone's day
can often help neutralize all the petty concerns that you've had about your your own day. And guess what? Helping other people actually has a physiological effect that can boost your mood as well. In the book The Healing Power of Doing Good, Allan Luks and Peggy Payne talk about how helping others can actually trigger what they call a "helpers high." Similar to the runner's high that athletes experience, helping other people can trigger a release of endorphins, and then after that initial rush you experience a longer period of calm and emotional well-being. Go out and do something nice for a stranger. I mean you can go so far as volunteering at a local shelter for half a day. And I've got to say that nothing puts your petty concerns in perspective like being around a bunch of people who don't have regular access to a warm meal or a warm bed. But it could also be as simple as just paying for a stranger's coffee in line at Starbucks. You're going to be surprised at how good you feel afterwards. Number four, take a calculated risk. Another thing that can skyrocket your confidence almost instantaneously is stepping outside of your comfort zone.
We spent so much of our lives living in such a confined sphere: work, home, friends, family. And in that familiar environment, all of our self criticisms
and problems seem much bigger and much more difficult to solve. But we forget how invigorating can be to get a different perspective. Challenge ourselves. To take a risk. And I'm not talking about doing anything physically dangerous. I mean, there's plenty of social risks that could be just as scary. Single? Grow a pair and finally approach that girl you've been meaning to talk to. Ask your boss for a raise. Try a new haircut. Take a class and learn a new skill. Attend a conference or plan a trip to a place where you don't know anyone else. So many of these things initially seem like risks but then once you actually work up the courage to take the
leap, a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. And you think to yourself, "I was afraid to do this?" The best thing, is even if you don't reach your intended
target the first time, even if you fail, you still feel better about yourself because you had the cojones to put yourself out there and try. And after a
while, this sensation of wanting to look fear in the face and go for it really becomes addictive, because you feel this positive momentum in your life and it really gives you a lot of confidence. Number five, reconnect with play. So another thing that sometimes zaps our confidence is this constant drive to achieve more. Technology has made it so that we're always on when it comes to work, and the the rat race is more of a grind than ever. We feel like we have to constantly push ourselves to work harder, to achieve more, but it's never quite enough. So maybe sometimes the solution isn't workingharder, it's allowing ourselves to rediscover play. As Charlie Hoehn writes in Play it Away, sometimes the simple joy of reconnecting with play can do wonders for our confidence and our stress level. No longer are we beating ourselves up for not pushing and achieving more, we're just simply allowing ourselves to be. Rather than trying to be productive, for once maybe you should just let yourself enjoy playing a game, doing a puzzle, shooting hoops, playing catch, being a kid again. Charlie says "play is a state where we are truly ourselves once we let go of
our egos and fear of looking stupid." Ironically, allowing yourself periods of play can actually increase your productivity. So that release that comes with letting go of that stress for only a few hours perhaps, can help improve your focus, improve your creativity, improve your confidence and your satisfactionwith work and the life in general. Number six, talk to yourself. Now, whether you realize it or not, you already talk to yourself all the time. The thing that we sometimes forget is that
we have the power to decide whether that's positive or negative. Think positive self-talk is too woo-woo for you? You know who else gets motivated by talking
to themselves? Navy SEALs. Oh yeah, and Olympic athletes. Even with their elite training and extreme levels of physical fitness, Navy SEALs and Olympic athletes have
realized that psyching themselves up mentally and squashing negative self-talk is key for achieving peak performance. But it turns out there's a right way and a wrong way to talk to yourself. Personal development guru Gary John Bishop believes that positive affirmations don't work because we're trying to convince ourselves of something that we fundamentally don't believe. That's a great aspiration, but when you're trying to tell yourself that you've attained something that you
actually haven't, that becomes a disconnect in your mind. So rather than
use positive affirmations.
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